Sleepy Time

Last night I woke up at 2:30am ... and although I was tired and knew I needed sleep because my alarm would ding before 5am for a work appointment, I couldn't fall back asleep. My mind pinged back and forth between thinking of scenes from Pride and Prejudice (my fave!), and trying to sing hymns to myself in my mind to draw my mind into a sleepy, contented state.

Didn't work.

At 4am I was still awake, shifting side to side on my pillow. And then I heard a little voice calling "Mommy ... Mommy!"

Reuben. At random times, one of his feet will get growing pains. Always in the middle of the night. So, next to him I lay for half an hour, rubbing that little foot while he whined cried into my shoulder. Until sleep got the best of him and he fell back asleep, exhausted.

Not so much for me, though. By then, I might as well get up and get ready for work. = ) Early morning. I usually never have coffee that early, but this morning, I warmed up half a cup from our pot made yesterday and drank it down before heading into the chill outside that waited for me.

Miraculously, I haven't felt super tired yet today. But, I have felt worn down in the patience area, which I know is also due to my tiredness. Funny, that last night in my devotion, I read (totally paraphrased): more of His power and grace are waiting for me to draw upon when faced with challenges.

Not that anything extraordinarily challenging was waiting for me today: except that 5 hours of sleep is NOT my normal prescribed time. That's enough of a drain on my physical body to produce more emotional challenges in the day ahead. Challenges presented themselves in the form of a toddler being clever enough to drag a kitchen chair to the counter and manage to spill my brand new bag of trail mix; a whiny six year old who needs more sleep to recover from three days of sickness; a four year old who might often believe his sole purpose for the next half hour is to annoy said six year old ... which causes - well, you know what that causes! And would I come unglued with it? Would I let those moments rule my day? My tiredness rule my attitude?

I surely wasn't perfect by any means, but in the moment of picking up peanuts off the floor, while Matthias was wailing in his time out spot, that I invited a Peace past my own understanding into the moment. Tried to extend grace to little boys who have to learn, but don't always know any better.

And even when I told Eli, my head on his shoulder, that there was a lot of whining in my day by the little guys, I could truly say, "It wasn't a bad day ... there were just moments." Moments to rise up and allow imperfection in our lives, but invite grace to reign.

And now it's 8pm ... bedtimes readings are being finished by Daddy, and once those towheads are in bed, I'm headed that direction as well.