A Bushel of Brooks

A Bushel of Brooks
Us as we are ...

Saturday, June 8, 2013

The Small Things

Today was such a tough day. The boys, who were exhausted yesterday, all woke up by 6:30 a.m. Jonah was up by 6. They needed the extra sleep! And they seemed to wake up with the predisposition to irritate each other. By 7:30 I was already sitting them in separate places because they couldn't stop doing things to rile the other up. Oh my ...

Even though there were a couple times I got a bit of reprieve (i.e., needing to work for an hour, so my dad and sister helped out, and then an hour at the wading pool with the boys to run energy out) ... it felt like right back into it once I got home. And I kept looking around my house, which was spotless on Thursday from the showing the previous day, and feeling completely defeated and overwhelmed by the toys strewn about, the kitchen that needed dishes to be washed and dried, etc. Having to get it back to show-ready, as always.

Mid-afternoon, I had put Matthias down for a nap (although he was sitting in his crib talking to himself, rather than sleeping), the boys were drawing a picture on the table for a moment, and I sat on the couch and cried. Tired. Missing Eli. Overwhelmed. Alone. Probably hormonal.

After letting the tears escape for awhile, I felt a Jonah hand on my arm. He handed me a tissue and whispered to Reuben, "I think we had better take care of Mommy. She is missing Daddy." He laid his head on my shoulder and prayed for me in his own sweet words. I remembered what I had written earlier this week about seeing the beauty in what would be a tough 9 days for me.

Their little struggles continued on the rest of the day = ) I wish I could say I feel like I emerged triumphant ... but I'm finishing the day okay. Took a bit of time for myself once Matthias finally fell asleep and the boys were settled with a game to play and refocused. We had to run to Target anyway, and ended up seeing our friends there, who stopped and talked with me for a bit. It was actually a wonderfully bright spot in my day. Talked to adults, laughed, the boys laughed and hid in clothes' racks, and Matthias let someone else hold him! When I was walking to the register to pay for my things, I was just grinning.

We still had moments of tears and frustration from one tired 4 year old once we were back home ... but all three boys are now asleep - hopefully for a good long night of sleep! Mommy is about to join them. Amidst the challenges, those small moments of light mattered sooooooooo much today.

No comments:

Post a Comment