3

The honest truth is 3 kids is a huge kick in the pants for me. I was hoping to post some pictures today - but the pics are still on the camera, and I have been attempting for the last hour to get my exhausted baby to fall asleep. All the while, the boys have hurt each other, bothered each other, and generally made the attempts to get Matthias asleep more of a challenge. Matthias finally fell asleep, I laid him down, and he is now "wide awake", kicking in his bed. Tired? Yes. Me? Trying to find that Peace that transcends understanding and walk within it. I get frustrated. I had promised the bigger boys I would take them outside in the backyard to play in the sprinkler once Matthias fell asleep - and I can't get him down. They are disappointed -

Some days are wonderful, but many days are a huge challenge. I feel like I get nothing done, except baths, clothed, and fed. I most likely should lower my expectations, but bills have to get paid, laundry washed, and maybe a fun activity in there? That would be phenomenal. And moments like this, I wonder how on earth I am going to homeschool Jonah, get Reuben to preschool, learn choreography for fitness classes, keep my house slightly in order?

And how many people have asked me if "we're done"? Lots. I can't even go there right now! Of course we aren't - big families are in our blood. But let me at least try and get my feet under me with three.

This is just a moment. In fact, before the last hour, our day was pretty happy and filled with laughter. But I am not always so great at navigating these moments. And it is tough not to feel isolated and struggling with it alone. I simply adore my children - and L.O.V.E. having Matthias here. But it is true that it isn't easy all the time. The challege of raising children is that: a challenge! Full of blessings and cuddles and silly giggles, but there are these challenging moments as well ...