Renewed Focus

Yesterday at church, the message was on an attitude makeoever: Being Thankful. I needed to hear this! I deceptively think that I am "decent" at being thankful throughout my day ... but the truth is that I am a total failure!

As the message was shared, I thought back to the week before, and several times during the week when it was tough to stay positive, when I ended up frustrated at an unchangable circumstance, or lost patience with the boys, or felt discouraged in relationships. I cannot change my circumstances, my house, the trials I have to walk through - but I can make my attitude make the difference.

These scenarios came to mind:
- I L.O.V.E. my two little blondies ... but they can drive me bananas at times! But how often, even when they have disobeyed or pushing mine/Eli's/each other's buttons, do I stop to thank the Lord for them? So many months of praying for a baby before Jonah was born - each day I must stop and thank God for them, amidst the challenges of raising a child. An attitude adjustment for me means that God will give me a different focus, a different way to cope, a different way to help them find a better solution.
- Sometimes I feel discouraged at work - I feel like I missed some enthusiasm in a class, or should have said something, or who knows! Instead, before the last two classes I taught, I spent some time thanking God for my job, for all the ladies who have inspired me at work, for the opportunity I so craved - and He gave it to me! It made class so much more fun!
- My house. My sweet little house ... that I honestly just wish was a little bigger! I can't wait for the day when I have a living room and dining room that I can host people in! And in my heart, I probably gripe WAY TO MUCH about this. Hello! How many people don't even have their own home, or even a roof over their heads? I have no right to complain. Today, as I woke up, I spent time just giving thanks for my home. Our home. It is cozy, it's warm as the weather turns cold, and God has blessed our family here. Heck, the new baby might sleep in a dresser drawer or something - BUT, I am grateful.

I have so many more. If I can be thankful in all circumstances, at all times during the day, then I can't wait to look back in two weeks and be awed at how different those two weeks will feel compared to times when I thought I just needed "buck up and get through" tough days. And seriously! Who wants the alternative?
- Discouraged
- Grumpy
- Self-Pity
- Whining
- Complaining
- and so many more.
I wouldn't want to be around someone who was stuck in those ruts - why would I want to be like that???? So, today, as once again I was sick in the bathroom early in the morning, I decided instead of begging God to have mercy on me and make me better, I thanked Him for this baby. We're so excited to meet this little one, to add to the silliness around the house ... once this baby is in my arms I will put aside the months and months of being sick.

When I stop and think, it's incomprehensible how many blessings there are in my life. How much I have to be thankful for! Now if I can make it a part of me enough that I don't have to stop and think, but it becomes who I am ...