Snuggled

Even though he is running to and fro, and starting to really chatter back and forth with us, Matthias still feels so much like my baby boy. Or, rather, maybe I hold to the "thought" that he is my baby boy! Because, truly, he isn't a baby anymore. He pulls out a work book when the boys pull out theirs, and says "sool!" quite loudly, so that he too, can have a pencil to work with. He tells me "not yet" quite seriously when he is finishing a project and not quite done.

Today, though, he was fighting the naptime. So, I grabbed his blankies and wrapped him up and just snuggled him in close. He fought it for a little bit, wrestling around. But, my arms and grasp were secure.

And then, suddenly, he relaxed. Realized that maybe, just maybe, this nap might be a good thing = ) And that my arms felt warm and comforting. And those brown eyes looked into mine, and he whispered "Hi Mom".

"Hi Buddy", I whispered back, before singing a song to him.

And as I was sitting there with him, I realized how much the Lord wants this with me. I get stressed, worried, anxious about things (will the house sell? Am I doing enough school with the boys? What if someone didn't get my text? goes on and on). And I wrestle against the peace that I desperately want. I want MY way ... or the way I perceive would be better.

When there are strong arms to carry me. A warm embrace to comfort me. A secure grip to hold my hand through the times that seem difficult or unknown.

And He just wants me to relax into His embrace ... into His way. Let His arms be my comfort, my rest. And I just sensed the whisper "Hi Elisa" as I relaxed into that moment, holding Matthias. And let my heart say back "Hi Daddy", to the One in whom I can entrust all things.

There are days in which my joy seems uncontainable. Days were my heart overflows with thanksgiving and gladness. And there are also days when I have relationship struggles, or little-boy struggles, or just might feel down. But I am reminded how it says in the Bible that He longs to gather us to Him, like a mother hen gathers her chicks.

Under the protective wings.

That sounds like exactly where I want to be - no matter what kind of day, good or bad. Gathered in. Held tight. And I am so glad that no matter how old I am, I can find rest and peace in the arms of my Father.