Baby In the Tummy

(And yes, venting time is over. I have now recovered from my pathetic bout of self-pity! And each day I read Psalm 23 ... no matter how the valleys feel, I need not fear, Someone else can be my Light).

Although we ended up telling the boys about the baby sooner than we had planned (due to morning sickness), I hadn't seen many indications that Reuben has paid any attention at all the facts of the matter. Jonah makes comments quite often on what color he thinks "our baby's" eyes will be, asking in what relation of time in terms of Christmas will the baby arrive, and is quite indignant that this baby causes his mommy to feel sick.

Reuben has never said much: and we didn't expect him to. His little two-year-old world is entirely wrapped up in figuring out what is "mine" versus his brother's; how to avoid being put down for naps; running circles around the house; and then snuggling for books at night. He is my boy who keeps his mommy laughing and clamoring for more hugs from his sweet little arms and face. The one with the mischevious laugh and smile.

And then this morning after Jonah had gone to preschool, Eli and I were sitting at the table with Reuben while he had a drink. I asked him: "Reuben, how do you feel about your day today?".

He looked at me, pulled up his shirt and looked at his stomach, and matter-of-factly replied: "Well, I have a baby in my tummy. It will come out later." And proceeded to finish his drink.

Apparently he has picked up on more "baby talk" than we had realized! = )

Apologies Due

(Warning: this is a "venting" post)

I feel like I need to apologize to every single woman that I know that has ever been pregnant and had any morning sickness symptoms! My pregnancy with Jonah had a few days of not feeling great, but overall, was pretty good! I kept working full-time, was super excited, and everything (at least as far as I remember!) felt pretty good.

Reuben's had some more rough days. Of course, I've sort of blocked them out. But I've looked back at things I wrote ... and I wrote that I felt pretty sick during the first trimester!

And then, fast-forward to present: OH MY.

This third pregnancy has given me a big 'ole slap in the face! Although most mornings are okay, nearly every day is steady decline. Nausea gets worse, and I often end up in bed or on the couch. Basically out of order. I started taking anti-nausea medicine as soon as it got bad, and have continued to do so. But then this week the throwing up started. And it didn't seem to matter if I had taken medicine or not. Some days I haven't even kept saltines down. Good grief!

It is tough. I hate feeling sick, but I hate being sick. Not able to wrestle around with the boys. Not able to cook dinner, get into projects, go on a date with Eli. Exercise sounds like a joke most days. And there is nothing I can do. Fight through the moments. Ask the boys to snuggle by me as much as they can tolerate. Gratefully accept my family's help any time they have offered it. Sigh.

Not that I haven't believed other women and their claims of morning sickness. But, my compassion level should have been exponentially higher! To feel like this - and for such an extended time - has been hard to get through. It's hard to think that it could go on.

I miss my friends. It feels so isolating to be here alone most of the time! I miss laughing with Eli and boys and being silly with them. I do my best to muster all I have for my hours at work ... and then am often wiped for the rest of the day. It is lonely on the couch. The nausea is almost as mentally exhausting as physically. You start to wonder what is wrong with yourself. You start to feel like you're going slightly insane.

And so, I hope I never downplay another's morning sickness. Give them all the love and support one person can give. And, by faith, remind them that it won't last forever - because it sure feels like it sometimes!

Stubborn

Jonah has mostly given up naps altogether. It's rather sad for me. I utilized that small window of quietness to accomplish many things around my house! I still work to have him have a "quiet time" of his own, which is sometimes successful, sometimes a battle. But every now and then, that 4 year old hasn't slept well, or has had many busy days in a row, and is plain T.I.R.E.D. I believe I've mentioned before that he is exceptional at fighting through those tired moments and getting to the other (although somewhat crabbier) side.

On the other hand, in my current state of life, naps are sounding really good! There are some afternoons as of late, that it has seemed impossible to keep my eyes from sliding shut for a twenty minute cat nap to help the rest of the day livable. Even though I find myself resting on the couch more than I like in the afternoons due to intense nausea, I still feel tired! It's rather amazing to me. I prefer to go-go-go and push through things. My body isn't allowing me to do that.

So the other afternoon, I put Reuben down. Explained to Jonah that Mommy REALLY needed to rest in her bed for a short time ... didn't he want to just join me? A frown followed this suggestion. Fine by me. I told him he could play in the living room quietly. I dozed for about twenty minutes, I think, opened my eyes and saw him lying in the hallway outside my bedroom; blanket curled up under his head - and he was glaring at me. I knew he was tired that day. I asked him - again - if he wanted to lay by me. He shook his head. I closed my eyes, and when they opened a second twenty minutes later ... he was sound alseep in that same position.

Stubborn (but very sweet looking) little boy!

KITTENS!!!!!

Although the boys wish this meant that we HAVE kittens, it got just about as good as it can get in terms of playing with kittens last Saturday night.

We headed out to some friends' house in the country (ahhhhhhh, no city noises, no misquitoes, just breezes and quiet ...) for some BBQ and hanging out! We were the only couple with kiddos, but Jason and Audrey said "of course" the boys were welcome to come. They didn't need any pushing: Audrey said that farm kittens would be in abundance!



Since Eli is allergic to cats, there will never be any kittens that get to reside in our home, so the boys and I are used to the fact that we just get to play with others' friendly cats when we get the chance. And who can resist sweet little kittens? (Besides Eli - who also professes a strong dislike for cats as well) The poor kittens got their share of being toted around, chased around, snuggled tight, and kissed. Although they most likely breathed a sigh of relief once the boys were being loaded up in the van to head home, it was one evening that is still being re-lived by Jonah and Reuben to anyone who will listen!

Up In Flames

I just got word about two hours ago that Eli's sister and husband's house has caught on fire. As far as I can understand, the husband was driving his motorcycle into their driveway over lunchtime, and the engine of his motorcycle caught on fire, and then caught his garage on fire, which led to some major damage on the house. I'm not even sure if the house itself is salvagable.

Thankfully, their dog made it out safe, and my sister-in-law was at work, and my sweet baby niece was at Grandma's house. No injuries. But really scary.

Moments like this always cause me to look around my house. What if it were me? What if it were my boys' room that was now non-existent ... their special toys, blankies, photos ... gone.
What would I do? Would I be crying? Or would I just be hugging Eli, Jonah, and Reuben as tight as I could, thankful that we were just still okay?

I can't predict that - but I can be thankful. Thankful the Lord protected all of them, and be reminded that daily He has and is protecting me. And it is a reminder to me that the "things" in my house can't be what I treasure. I love memories - I love "stuff" that reminds me of a memory and there is a part of me that loves to store away things and keep them forever. But I am not guaranteed that ANY of that will be around for another day. What really matters? My relationships. My relationship with God, with my family and friends ... and even acquaintances in whose lives I can brighten a bit with a smile or kind word.

For my family's sake, I wish the events of today were reversible. But I won't take for granted the reminder to keep my own priorities in life straight.