Not a Baby Anymore

My baby isn't a baby anymore. He is a full-fledged little boy with strong opinions of his own ("Mommy, sometime I like you, sometime I don't" - true statement from a boy in the backseat of my car when he DID NOT want to go to soccer the other weekend), running faster than I can often catch these days, asking me who I'm talking to on the phone, giving me big squeeze hugs, requesting Mommy to read books each morning during our couch snuggle time, refusing to ever sit on the potty, finally eating some pasta after a two year refusal, and giving a day-full of challenges, giggles, laughter, hugs, and whateverelseyoucanthinkof every single day.

Matthias really is such a fun personality. Oh, he makes me want to pull my hair out several times a day, but he also just brings lots of joy to our home.

But, the realization is sinking in that he won't be our my baby anymore. I'm not really sure how this will all pan out. He loves babies and helping to take care of them ... but that is an entirely different story when a baby is going to arrive in his home, taking up our time. He is still my snuggler, and wants me to lay by him when we read a story before bed or naptime. He wants to have his blanket and pacifier often (the habit will have to go after baby-adjustment), and walks up to me: "Momma, hold-a me" with those not-so-chubby-anymore arms.

Although it is hard to actually wrap my mind around the fact that in only a few short weeks Brooks Baby will be here, every now and the the reality hits me that life is about to change. A lot. In a short time. And I know the affect on him will be huge.

And so I pray: pray that he will adjust, that he will love and not resent his newest sibling. That God will show me how on earth to spend my time wisely, investing in each child separately, and teaching them (us) to live together.

And I am treasuring the little moments that I am getting that I know will inevitably change: putting him to bed. Trying to read more books when we have time. And I admit: I feel a little sadness sometimes - knowing that we face the transition and he just isn't my baby anymore.

My current favorite moment? When I lay next to him in his bed, after reading a book, and usually I close my eyes and sing or pray. And then little hands frame my cheeks, and I can "see" him looking at me. And then, then little fingers touch my eyebrows (of all things!), and he always says, "Mommy? I like your eyebrows". = )

that is my Matthias.