Growth

It seems like everything is growing in my world these days. These four boys in my bushel are growing like weeds ... and eating like they are growing like weeds! God has been growing me. Teaching me to enlarge my arms for the job He has for me right now. Digging into some of those tucked away areas to change my heart and heal up past hurts. It has been good!

And even our house is growing! We are currently working on an addition.

When we bought this house, it was truly an answer to a prayer long prayed. And we love the neighborhood, we love the house, the layout, all of it! But we knew from the beginning that "someday" we would like to add on a dining room. Not a formal dining room! Ha! Not in this house. Just a bigger space for our growing family to eat in,  AND Eli and I look forward to the day when we can host holiday and family events in our house for everyone! Sure, we can cram in now. But Eli is totally envisioning Thanksgiving happening in our house this year = ) Which means more space for long tables is what we're working towards.

This is a huge project, of course! We have a walkout basement, so that means we're building a second story dining room that adds on to the kitchen. And will connect to the living room, making a more open living space for us. So we had to dig footings, get concrete poured, etc etc etc. Lots of work. We are so thankful for my dad, who has construction knowledge and has given us so much time and muscle work as we (okay, really Eli, not me!) have worked on the house. He spends his days off here to help, makes lists with Eli, gives us suggestions, and list could go on and on. Eli loves it when Dad is here and he has someone to work with, talk to, and sweat with! The lower level space will be a new home for our giant tortoise. And usable to store ladders, tools, etc., in as well. That way whenever we do sell this home (which hopefully is a long time down the road), someone without a 70 point tortoise can have a great shed ready and waiting.

We started at the beginning of the summer and are still at it. Eli wasn't able to take much time off, so he's working weekend hours on the house. We're taking it a week at a time! I'm crossing my fingers a lot of the major work will be done by the end of September and we'll just have finishing work to do. So far the majority of the "room" is done, but there is a lot of finishing work (mudding/taping), and then new flooring and painting and all that.

It has been fun to see the progress. From just holes in the ground to an actual room! Hard to believe ... but also hard to believe that at some point it will be done! It really will! Our neighbors are glad that the days of the huge trash container out front, and concrete trucks are over. I have lists of people I'm compiling in my mind that I can't wait to have over once construction phase is done!

Summer Bucket List?

Many of my friends have a "summer bucket list". I've seen it take many forms: a poster board filled with fun ideas; note cards with fun activities written on each one and framing a cabinet in the kitchen; and you name it! People have done it.

Don't get me wrong. This is one of those things that I often think about in May, and imagine myself creating. I picture myself sitting at our kitchen table with three or four sweet faces surrounding me, and we're dreaming of all the fun and different things we can fill our summer days doing.

I've never done one.

Never.

It has to be at least 4 or 5 summers have come and gone that at the beginning, I was planning to do one, And then I wouldn't pull one together and so I would have a list in my mind. And it is always ALWAYS bigger than possible. And somewhere in mid to late June, my mindset changes. Instead of how.much.can.we.cram.into.this.summer ... I let aspirations of many field trips slide, and realize that I have limits. Remember that there are always few things or places that should remain a goal, but many others can slide. Heaven knows that our schedule is full and carefully organized during the school, and so I cherish some of the summer afternoons where there is NOTHING scheduled and no place we have to be.

None of this is to say that I don't like the summer fun list. It's quite likely that next May I will be seeing some pop up on facebook or pinterest and think that I should do it! And maybe some year I will.

These three went swimming with Mommy while Jonah was at camp

Bucket list or not, we have had a great summer. Jonah went to a day camp at a local church for the first time and loved every second of it. He made some new friends and reconnected with some old friends that he hadn't seen in a couple years. The three older boys went to VBS at church - which is always a highlight in the Brooks house! We went to a trampoline park for the first time, and little boy grins were lighting up that place. We've swam at the public pool, a friends' pool, and ventured to a nearby town pool that had more slides and more fun equipment to climb on. I've scheduled more playdates this summer than ever, so each week has been full of friends and places to head to. And although there are always afternoons in which someone is saying "Mooooooommmm, I'm bored", I certainly haven't felt bored! In fact, Eli told me a couple weeks ago that I needed to be more careful with how full I had been packing our afternoons because I was wearing myself out. And through all these little moments, the boys and I have certainly created lots and lots of memories to tuck away and pull out later.

School starts in less than three weeks, and I'm still looking at these two weeks ahead and planning the last few fun things to throw in there that we can all do together. I know that there are times during the school year for trips and events as well, but it certainly is easier to organize and go places when we aren't worrying about homework, schoolwork, music lessons, and regular scheduled life = )

Bushel Back in Action

Sometimes life is wonderful and full and busy ... and that is where I have found myself in the last several months. We have been working on an addition to our house, Eli's workload at work is a bit ramped up, and life with four boys at home, summer activities, work, and all that goodness has definitely filled my days! And I let this slide for awhile.

But it hasn't left the back on my mind. I don't really expect that many people read my blog ... but I write here to have some method of writing down memories and little things that we want to remember and be able to look back and smile upon. To laugh at little boy things, be thankful as we are reminded of God's faithfulness in our lives, and have some thoughts preserved! Otherwise, I know that I won't remember!!! So, my hope and plan is to get back at it.

And I want to start with writing about Jonah. My oldest boy.

He seems to suddenly have grown so much. He's going into 4th grade this year. We have changes coming up for this boy. He is going to transition from homeschooling to Veritas this year. BIG CHANGE!

As the spring semester went on, I just felt like he and I could truly use a change. He is a really good boy. But I felt the tension of being teacher and mommy wearing on both of us. And not that it was an insurmountable situation, but my heart was to continue our great connection as mother and son. And sometimes my being teacher really strained our days together. And so Eli and I talked about sending him to Veritas. And then we kind of shelved that discussion because we weren't sure financially it was even an option for us. But, I still had the desire (and my social Jonah really wants to go to school!), and so I prayed. And just kept praying.

And then in June, Eli suggested we just send in the paperwork and see how it all started to land. And I was so excited! It was a process, and we were waiting on some questions from their financial board to be answered, but long story short, it is going to work out for him to go! It is still, in many ways, a step of faith for us to take the dive, but we believe it is the right timing for him.

And we are still committed to praying each year, and taking each year at a time. This doesn't mean he will go there forever, but it means he will go this year. We get to go school shopping for the first time, and he's thinking about new friends he will meet ... it is fun!

Yes, we're totally going to be those parents that have that choked-up feeling in their throat. Both Eli and I. Probably most families experience this in kindergarten, and here we will be with a 4th grader. I will feel like crying! I have loved having my boys home with me and seeing them learn. But I also know it is time for Jonah to experience something different, having someone else really working with him on math, spelling, english, history, etc. And I can be the support.

And I can spend some quality time with Reuben - and that second born boy could truly use those moments with Mommy.

Jonah played baseball for the first time this year, which he loved. We were so thankful he was able to play on a team with some friends that he knew, and some other really really great boys his age. Eli and I have always said we weren't going to be a baseball family ... but I'm kind of thinking that is about to change in the Brooks house. There are three other boys who are now carrying around mitts, balls, and swinging the bat at pitches whenever they get the chance.

And so I look at my blond boy, and I still give him as many hugs as he will let me (thankfully, he still doesn't mind snuggles with Mom every now and then). I've seen those pictures of him, a little round-cheeked one year old, and my heart has wrenched knowing that the time has passed fast. So I look forward to this next season with both anticipation, and a bit of sadness, knowing that he has already put a lot of childhood behind him.

Family Time

I LOVE MY SIBLINGS!!!!

Last weekend my Uncle Phil came from Texas for a quick visit. We were already planning to get together on Saturday to celebrate March birthdays (we have quite a few!), but it made it extra special that he was able to be there with us.

Since KU is advancing in the NCAA tournament, everyone wore KU shirts, and our goal was to get some family pictures. You know, we have 9 kids between us: ages 9 and under. And getting them all to smile and be happy for pictures is somewhat of a challenge! But we had fun anyway. Of course it was a freezing day, and so we were running inside and out, shivering, but smiling!

We're missing Selah in this picture = (

I truly love my family. Our get togethers are somewhat chaotic, there of often one little kiddo getting upset about something or another, but at the same time, we can just hang with it! I look around at my parents, my siblings, our significant others, and now our kids running around ... it is AWESOME! No other way to describe it. I am so grateful to have them all in my life. Can't imagine life without each and every one of them.

All of us together!

Spring Retreat

Last Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, Eli and I took the youth group -the youth that could come -on our annual spring retreat. We're carrying on the tradition of a prayer and fasting retreat that our youth pastors' began 19 years ago! Wow! So amazing to be a part of the heritage being built into the youth of Lawrence, Kansas.

I think each year we learn more, apply things that we wanted to tweak from the last year, and continue to grow ourselves. We are so imperfect ourselves, that it is always amazing to see the Lord work in spite of who we are, and show up in a mighty way.

This year felt like the best yet. Our college staff really rallied around us. They prayed. They fasted, They worshiped. Alongside us with their whole hearts. As we ministered with them, God just continued to fill us all up. And although we came home physically tired (hellooooo late nights!), we didn't feel wasted. I felt so alive!

And there have been years in which I look back, and there were teens that came, but held back. The reasons don't necessarily matter at this point, but it was a struggle for them to engage. To let down their walls. And I often spent time and energy chasing after them. Talking to them. Encouraging them to fully participate with us. And I believe that even those times planted seeds in their life that they will look back on and remember that God does indeed love them. But it still added a different element into the flow of the retreat. But this year everyone just was all in. Each youth was there because they wanted to be. And even those that were newer to the group jumped right in and became a part of the group. It was so beautiful to watch.

My boys did great at home with babysitters cycling through, and I didn't have to worry one moment about them. I was able to enjoy those three days away. It was like a breath of fresh air to me. No house to clean for three days. No meals to cook. No laundry to do (yes, all of those things were waiting for me back home, but it was GREAT to have a few days without them constantly being in front of me!). Three days away from work. Just to really seek the presence of God.

I am going to treasure those three days. Some great memories made. And I loved having the opportunity to really spend time with the girls from Outstretch and continue to build relationship with them. I am already looking forward to the next one!

His Faithfulness Endures

Nothing like a reminder about God's faithfulness in our lives. Seriously.

I have been working on sorting through my pictures on my computer and getting them filed away appropriately and backed up online and all that. I'm a little behind! = ) The boys keep asking me when I am going to get our 2014 family photo book done ... yikes. That is how far behind I am. In actuality, it doesn't take me that much time. I just need to sit down for about half an hour for a few days and I can easily get myself caught up. It is just the tyranny of the urgent seems to usually trump those projects!

But, the boys are getting closer and closer to the end of the school year, and within 3-4 weeks, some of their subjects will be done. That doesn't mean I won't think of other things to learn to keep us busy! But, it does mean that hopefully in March and April I can finish up the photos and get myself completely caught up. One can hope.

As I was working on it the other, I saw this:

And what a reminder! Gosh, that was so exciting when the official "contract pending" sign went up on our house AND when everything went through! We sold that sweet little house full of memories to move on. But that was after a year of trying to sell, taking the house off the market, making a major foundation repair ... and then completely releasing it to God. I had held it so tightly in my own hands, wanting it to happen on my terms, in my time. Sound familiar? We've all been there. I know I have been there too many times!

When Eli and I both finally were broken before the Lord, willing to lay the entire desire to move in His hands and say it was fine if it NEVER happened, then He made a way. His way. His timing.

He brought us to such a great neighborhood. There is hardly a day goes by that I don't thank Him for this house, these specific neighbors, and this place. The boys are thriving here. There are Christian friends to play with, non-Christian friends to play with and witness to. We love it here!

And yet I want it to stay in the right place. I'm so so thankful for what God did. But at the same time? It is just a house. I hope we get to stay here a long time, but we are keeping it in the correct place in our hearts. Should God call us to go somewhere else, we will go. And while we are here, we want to stay focused that we are here to be a light!

The truth is that there are still days that bring about circumstances or challenges that cause me to question God's faithfulness. I wish I could say differently! But, I am still being formed and changed to be more like Him. But what He did for us with the house was a mark in our past that I cannot forget - nor do I want to! I can look back, point to it, and say "God was and is and will be faithful." End of statement. That is the truth. And that causes my own faith level to rise again and look towards what might feel tough with renewed vision and focus - focus on the faithfulness of God to see me through. That's where I am today. Filled with thanksgiving towards Him, who is able to do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine!

Jumping in with both feet

I'm not quite sure how it is already January 28th! The days go by ... and although there are certainly moments in my days that feel like the minutes are barely ticking away, I am amazed at how fast this month has gone. And how full it has been!

We REALLY enjoyed our Christmas break. Eli had more time at home, and the boys and myself needed our break from homeschooling. I got to take off the "teacher" hat and just be Mommy. Which was a breather on both ends! Needless to say, the first few days getting back into the school swing of things might have been a bit rough = ) We made it, and now the routine and rhythm seems back to normal. The boys gave me some pushback that first week.

Some of my most precious moments this month as I look back have been with Matthias. He is at a great stage. Still a little boy, but growing so much in mind and heart. He wakes up every morning and hopes to find Eli reading his Bible in the recliner. Crawls right up into Eli's lap and just wants to snuggle. Those mornings when Eli is early at work or at the gym, I make sure to find a moment to wrap my arms around that little brown haired boy and give him lots of kisses. He is often running to catch up with the two bigger boys, and I strive to ensure each day he (all of them!) gets a bit of one on one time with Mommy.

But at bedtime? At bedtime it is Mommy that he wants. And so I lay next to him to sing the EXACT SAME THREE SONGS that he wants every night and to pray over him. But nearly every night, he interrupts me about halfway through the first song to talk. He wants to talk. He wants to ask questions. And how they make me smile! For about three nights in a row, it was all about who he was going to marry. Mommy? No, Mommy is already married to Daddy. Ms. Betty? No, Ms. Betty is already married to Mr. Ed. And so then I had to tell him he will marry somebody around his own age ... and to that information his eyes opened wide: "I never thought of that before!" And we have had to discuss over and over that he can't really pick who he is going to marry right now. And he finally decided that at age 22 - he'll pick his bride!

We've also had long discussions about Rome and Romans. Because of various Bible stories and acting out of Bible stories at church, he has questions upon questions about Rome (think Roman soldiers, Jesus' crucifixion, etc). Are there bad guys there? Do they live in houses? Do they have food? Can he go to Rome someday? Are they still "hunting" Christians in Rome? Are there nice people in Rome? And on and on and on we go. This topic comes up at bedtime, in car rides, and any other random moment you can think of. Yesterday I finally reassured him that someday he can go to Rome if he really wants to! And he was so thrilled! And then had to be reassured that yes, there is water there to drink and food to eat and even houses to stay in.

And at bedtime after I redirect him back to his songs and we pray, then he relaxes and is asleep within minutes. And I look at those cheeks that still have some chubbiness, his long brown eyelashes, and just want to give him one more kiss.

Thankfully, no one my boys are yet too old to love Mommy and love hugs and snuggles. But I also see how the 6 and 8 year olds are busy. They are lean, muscular, and don't have any of that toddler fat left! And it causes me to - rightfully so - take time to pause and appreciate the little ones. Remember that this is such a fleeting moment in their lives. Not that each stage isn't wonderful! They are. But this halfway between toddlerhood and boyhood is special. The days are full and go by fast, but I hold these memories tight.