Changes

July is winding up. August will begin tomorrow. And even though the temperatures are still high, I hear the whisper of promise that fall will soon be here. Moms are thinking about back to school shopping, I am getting slightly panicked that I don't have all my curriculums picked out and on the way quite yet, the boys have already started talking about the Harvest Party, I have pumpkins growing in my backyard. This summer is going by so quickly. Full of good things. But the fall is full of changes.

From the outside looking in, probably most would think that the change rocking my world is not really such a big deal. But from the inside of the change, it is huge.

I have grown up with my dad working the same place. Mustard Seed Church. His role evolved over the years, but I remember as a small girl sometimes visiting him at work. And I remember his various offices, office decor, etc., as the church grew. I saw him eventually take over the Lead Pastor position from my grandfather and lead our church with love. He has been a good shepherd. My dad and Eli top my list of amazing men that I have intense respect for.

And he is stepping down.

For me, I cannot imagine living my life without faith. Faith in a God that is bigger than myself. Faith in Him that holds the world in His hands. Because without that faith, I would be rocked. But as it is, though my world may feel shaken, I know without a doubt that I can still stand firm.

But I cannot also imagine my dad not being there, in the physical sense of being at the church building. Not having his office across from Eli's. Not being there when I go to events or Bible studies and being able to pop in his office, give him a hug and tell him that I love him. I know I will still see him! But, to close the door on this era is tough for me.

I have to believe, to chose to keep that faith, that there are great things in store for my parents. That what lies ahead of them can be even better than what they have put their heart and souls into the years behind them. Sometimes that is hard to believe. Some days it feel easier. I am not one who looks for change ... I would rather keep the status quo, maintain what feels secure and go on with life. Change isn't always easy. But even painful change can bring about beauty.

Some days I have walked down the office hallway and my throat chokes up. Or I have to take a deep breath when I hear Jonah ask "Opa? Are you going to still go to our church? Because I don't want to miss seeing you there". Maybe that seems small to some, but it is a huge change for our family.

But as I enter the next two months of transition time and the true changes begin, I have to fight for that faith, for that belief that He really does have good plans for my parents. For myself and Eli. For my children. For the whole body of believers that I love. And in the times that I see them grieve the loss of what they have known, stand beside them as they look towards the unknown. Be their support, be their cheerleader as they walk out their own walk of faith.

There is no time that I can remember being this proud of my parents. Proud that they are willing to take risks, to step out in faith, and to be vulnerable. Most of us in the world would not be that brave. I know someday we will look back on this time and see the why. Sometimes it is hard to see the why in the right now. I can be okay with that. And I am also okay with admitting that some days I will be sad, and some days I will feel fine!

No matter the job, the vocation, etc., they will always be my mom and dad. The same mom and dad who were just at my house, making sure the boys were getting to bed okay since Eli is in KC tonight. The same dad who goes grocery shopping with Eli or I each week, just because. Because he loves us. I have truly wonderful parents, and I just pray that their next something wonderful shows up on their doorstep at the perfect time.