One Long Week

Eli headed off Sunday afternoon for a week-long, Mon-Fri, 8-5 class at school in Springfield this week. I geared myself up for single-mommyhood. Perhaps the Lord wanted to remind me that I can't really do anything on my own - that it all has to be about finding strength in Him. But I thought that things would go rather smoothly ... instead:

- Both boys started the week out with harsh coughs, congestion, drainage, etc.
- Reuben ran low fevers Monday and Tuesday
- Jonah randomly threw up (while in my bed) at 2 a.m. on Monday night. Apparently it seemed to be, well, random, as when he woke up Tuesday morning he was fine, but I had to keep him home from preschool since he had just thrown up.
- Their colds just keeping going ALL.WEEK.LONG
- I missed Eli ...
- They lovingly shared their colds with me ... Dayquil and Nyquil became close friends with me on Thursday and Friday
- In the middle of a big snowstorm Thursday evening, I had to get Reuben to the doctor - yes, he had an ear infection - and then thru the pharmacy to get medicine for said infection
- I missed my hubby ...
- Thursday and Friday we took care of my 3 month old neice - and I admit it - I was just weary and it was rough to add an infant to the mix of life in our house
- Someone rear-ended Eli on the highway in Springfield - right where the same car had just been hit/and/run a few weeks ago and been repaired
- Did I mention that I was missing Eli????

But the Lord reminded at the beginning of this week of a verse He had given to me a couple weeks that has become rather a mantra for me, something to say out loud, to murmer under my breath during tough moments, to repeat over and over when I am trying to fall asleep at night:

¹¹ The LORD gives strength to his people;
the LORD blesses his people with peace.
Psalm 29:11

If I can lift my eyes up off my circumstances, up off how I feel, up and off my perception of the situation ... to Him, then I will find strength in Him to keep going, I will find the peace that my entire being is craving in the midst of struggles that I cannot change.

Looking back over the week, I can see that God, perhaps, was humbling me. In and of myself, I wasn't enough to "do" it all. To "be" everything that was asked of me. And why do I even try? I NEVER can! Only when I push myself aside and lift up those weary eyes will I be filled with strength and peace. I got my lesson - and I'll probably have to be taught it again and again as my pride tends to come back again and again. But, maybe, just maybe, I've been transformed a bit more? I can hope.

And ... gleefully welcome Eli back home!