Brothers

Eli is out of town. Certainly not on one of his longer trips, but still not here. And although the boys and I still keep a fairly regular schedule, and others always jump in to help out, it just isn't the same. Daddy is gone.

Today I felt like the behaviors were coming out all over the place. The boys were so excited about today! We were going to the Hy-Vee store to trick or treat, so they were going to wear their costumes. Seriously, though I kept warning them this wouldn't be a "big" event, Reuben was counting down the days all week. And they went to bed excited last night about it all. I was thrilled we didn't have to be at the gym until 11 this morning, so we would actually have bit of a morning at home. Time to be a little lazy in pajamas and not be trying to get out the door.

And it all started out okay, most of the boys slept in a little later than normal because they were tired from the day before. And they were happy to be reading books in the living room, and playing with some little toys a friend had given them.

But as the day wore on ...

And I don't want to unveil my children. I know I have my own ugliness that pops up when I am tired or cranky or something is off within me. And I certainly wouldn't be thrilled to have it broadcast to anyone who can find it.

But I just saw it - battled it. Jonah wanted to run the show. Daddy isn't here, and by golly, the firstborn wanted to step up and run things. And Matthias? Not about to tell than happen. In true three year old fashion, his fists came into play because his words don't feel powerful enough.

I know the job description. My job is to be a mother. Not a friend right now. To love them, but to train them. And I felt like a referee today. Only the time outs and talks weren't going through the ears and producing any change.

We talked some tonight. The boys tell me how much they love each other! And I know that they do. I see it demonstrated each and every day. But, they miss Daddy and they are excellent at pushing each others' buttons. But, it isn't enough. I shared with them about servant leadership. Talking to Jonah about how he is a leader, but he has to be a servant leader. Things won't go well if he gets bossy. Matthias has to use hands for kindness. To bring healing. And Reuben has to stay calm. We talked about fighting for peace in our home, not fighting for fighting's sake.

And then we pray. Pray that our hearts would be soft towards each other. And oh how I pray along with them! That my own heart would not get frustrated alongside theirs, but that I would find the teaching moments and teach with a gentleness that comes from Jesus. I love these boys with a fierce love that can almost feel overwhelming, but I hate when dissension breaks a day. Eli is a great dad! But, even he can't solve all those problems. The boys have to learn to step back and make right choices. We have to parent to help them get there (HUGE job!), especially in a tough day.

And so, as I lay my own head down tonight, my prayer is for them. That they would wake in the morning with renewed strength to grow. They are growing each day. May they grow into men of honor and strength. And when they get up in the morning, may their little hearts be inclined to be kind to their brothers. A friend of mine once said, "One of the greatest gifts you can give to your child(ren) is siblings." They'll have each other long past Eli and I.  I believe that - and I know that someday they will too! Even if right now that is hard for a small child to see.

Fire Station Visit

Matthias got to join the ranks of his older brother this semester as he headed off to preschool two mornings a week. He does great in terms of being happy to run into his classroom, give us reports when he gets home, and seems to generally enjoy his time there. But, for the first several weeks, he would still express that he did not want to go when he work up and realized it was a "school day" for him. Most of this simply stems from the fact that he realizes the bigger boys aren't headed "to" a school, and so he would rather stay with them. But he loves his crafts, singing time, and his new friends at school. And just in in the last two weeks, we haven't heard those words when we mention school. Tuesday of this week, all three boys were eating breakfast at the table together ... I said "And Matthias, you get to go to school today!" And he just grinned right back at me and said "Yay! I love school."

Yeessssss.

At the beginning of this month, his class visited a local fire station - always a favorite activity with little kids! His brothers got the the same experience when they were in preschool as well. And although I wish I could have been there, I was glad that Eli was able to take the time from work to go with him. Eli got to accompany Reuben on his trip, and I think Jonah as well. Makes for good memories with a Daddy and his boy.

And they come home with great stories. To a little three year old, sitting in a fire truck is BIG stuff. And getting to hold the hose? Even better = )

It seems like schools do less field trips than they used to. And I understand, it is tough and takes work to pull off. There isn't a trip to the pumpkin patch as a school (which is fine - we had our family trip!), and I believe this fire station visit is one of the only field trips the kids go on this year. Definitely thrilled that Matthias got to participate and meet his classmates there.

Sometimes it is just the little things like this that can make such an impression and create stories for them to tell. And as an adult, I can often forget that. My little man loves adventure and trying new things and being brave. This little outing gave him a little taste of feeling "big".

Field Trips

Let me just be straight out honest and say that homeschool field trips intimidate me. Not because I don't love seeing the boys experience things and learn all kinds of information through hands on experience ... mostly because it is the littles that make it challenging. Not that I am wishing them away, but I can imagine taking on Jonah and Reuben on field trips and that sounds great! Easy! Fun!

But add in a three year old with loads of energy, a nearly one year old that needs to be carried, sometimes nursed, etc., and field trips (at least to me) can seem a bit more of a task than a fun outing.

With the baby being little last spring, we really didn't do many field trips at all. We used our backyard for outside learning = ) But I have purposed that we can do this! We can get out more this year in terms of outside learning activities.

Truly, we enjoy getting our school done at home. And there are sooooo many resources available online now that all kinds of learning can be done in all kinds of ways. But, there is nothing like seeing a reenactment of pioneer days. Or walking through a one room schoolhouse. Learning to march like colonial soldiers. Riding in a stagecoach behind horses. All those things can be talked about and watched on a screen ... but real experience trumps all that!

And so we have ventured out. On two. Hey! It's October and we have done two fields trips! I count that as success in my book (and that doesn't count the pumpkin patch, which of course we visited this month!).

In September, we went with our friends to the Mahaffie Stagecoach Stop in Olathe. They were having a homeschool day, so they had lots of reenactors out on the land. The boys ate up being soldiers, looking at the animals, and hearing the cannon go off. I was glad to go with friends, because it made it much more enjoyable. They tried out pioneer kid games, ran around together, and we left sweaty, tired, and happy.

This week we visited Old Prairie Town in Topeka. Got to see lots of old buildings. And actually go inside and see everything. Our family went with us, so we were with cousins, aunts, and grandparents. The boys did fairly well, although a couple times they got a little antsy on the tour.

And so, I think that we need to keep those ideas going! Yes, it takes time, energy, and doesn't always feel easy to do. And truth be told, I would often rather stay at home (hello! mostly an introvert over here!). Yet at the same time, I love doing with the boys. Going with the boys. Even when I wrestle with putting forth the time, the effort, and knowing there are always moments of wanting to pull my hair out a little bit, my goal is to continue throughout this school year and make some great memories.

Autumn

Fall is here! Although the temps have still been going up and down, leaves are starting to change colors and the nights are getting cool. And although I'm not ready for freezing cold Kansas to swoop in, there are afternoons that I look at my fireplace with anticipation. Thinking of a cooler day when it will feel like a treat to light it up and snuggle in blankets while we finish up school. = ) I do REALLY like fall.

My home is still such a delight to me. There is hardly a day in which at some point I look around, my heart swells, and I am filled with gratitude for this house. We have been here just a little over one year, and we are so so blessed. Neighborhood friends, space, a great backyard, and the list goes on and on.

I have a good friend - and her living room is always decorated for each season and looks beautiful (like it came out of a magazine!). Decorating is not a strong point for me. I don't "see" it like others see it, but at least I can tell when colors match! Ha! I haven't made it to the point in which each season changes all the decorations in the house, but I certainly wanted to put out things for fall. And I can't put together things to look as classy as she can ... I am content with my homey decorations and the always slightly messy living room no matter how many times we pick up every day.

I was so happy to change the mantel, put up our sparkle pumpkins, and feel like every time I walk into the living room it is singing out the autumn time song to me. Never mind that Eli started talking about putting Christmas decorations up on NOVEMBER 1ST!!!! Has the man gone crazy????

And so, as we go from day to day, some with jackets on, some back to shorts and t-shirts, we are loving fall time. Playing catch in the backyard in the evenings, lots of fire pits, and having the snuggle blankets folded up in the living room for cool mornings.